none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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