This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Damn victory sex feels great
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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