There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
