I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
