im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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