Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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