I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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