i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
