SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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