she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
tell me about the eggs
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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