Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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