I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize