he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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