after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm sobbing to NWA
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize