They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
