You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
