i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
