Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
