After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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