So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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