they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
