I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
