I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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