porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
