I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
