just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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