I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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