i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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