You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
