In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
