Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
