"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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