You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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