So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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