Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
