My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
