I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was born a porn star she said
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
