she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize