I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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