Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
