Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
