I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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