she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
