end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
