I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
