Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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