I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
