nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
