Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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