its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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