just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
