I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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