Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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