thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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