My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize