Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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