My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
organizing the empties. That sober.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
