YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
