I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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