it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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