YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
