marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i've created a new STD.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Im part way to drunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
