No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.