Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.

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(803): I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer. http://tfl.nu/7z73

Replies (2) Good night (707) Bad night (983)
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(712): View more from Iowa

I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.

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(712): I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well. http://tfl.nu/yae3

Replies (2) Good night (2121) Bad night (782)
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(847): View more from Illinois

just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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(847): just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism http://tfl.nu/1jbk

Replies (12) Good night (704) Bad night (2550)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

school has made you so classy.

(514): View more from Quebec

that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.

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(780): school has made you so classy. (514): that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884. http://tfl.nu/r8mz

Replies (45) Good night (4201) Bad night (658)
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(313): View more from Michigan

hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

(734): View more from Michigan

nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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(313): hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots? (734): nope, you were tallying rejections at the party http://tfl.nu/c1is

Replies (8) Good night (1084) Bad night (5964)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head

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(604): it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head http://tfl.nu/xa8x

Replies (38) Good night (5085) Bad night (1473)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop

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(217): Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop http://tfl.nu/m1fy

Replies (13) Good night (6605) Bad night (1520)
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(914): View more from New York

Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class

(1-914): View more from New York

that is WHY your in summer classes

(914): View more from New York

worth it

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(914): Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class (1-914): that is WHY your in summer classes (914): worth it http://tfl.nu/1hzd

Replies (10) Good night (3923) Bad night (879)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'll always be here to give you immoral support.

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(678): I'll always be here to give you immoral support. http://tfl.nu/ss89

Replies (6) Good night (2850) Bad night (831)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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(304): Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea. http://tfl.nu/ejed

Replies (6) Good night (2513) Bad night (671)
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(830): View more from Texas

I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.

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(830): I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate. http://tfl.nu/ytk5

Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (630)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

(319): View more from Iowa

will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

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(612): So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me? (319): will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls? http://tfl.nu/9asz

Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (943)
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(804): View more from Virginia

You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.

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(804): You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/xqs5

Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (296)
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(602): View more from Arizona

It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns

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(602): It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns http://tfl.nu/skwr

Replies (3) Good night (692) Bad night (265)
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(512): View more from Texas

And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...

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(512): And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background... http://tfl.nu/mx93

Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (116)

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