Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.

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(281): View more from Texas

I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.

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(979): View more from Texas

For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

(512): View more from Texas

You. Win. At. Life.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.

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(916): View more from California

I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.

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