Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

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  (303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..." http://tfl.nu/5h2o
  Replies (81) Good night (1056) Bad night (6620)
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  (707): View more from California

  he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?

  (1-707): View more from California

  logic in its finest

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  (707): he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i? (1-707): logic in its finest http://tfl.nu/z7qz
  Replies (41) Good night (4835) Bad night (2757)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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  (267): just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES http://tfl.nu/axvy
  Replies (37) Good night (8218) Bad night (981)
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  (949): View more from California

  You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?

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  (949): You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5? http://tfl.nu/3tc1
  Replies (15) Good night (7687) Bad night (1068)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.

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  (318): I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning. http://tfl.nu/5etp
  Replies (4) Good night (3770) Bad night (894)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.

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  (203): Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk. http://tfl.nu/6oqy
  Replies (4) Good night (2741) Bad night (776)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?

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  (704): What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present? http://tfl.nu/yubn
  Replies (26) Good night (4315) Bad night (1123)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.

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  (630): Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit. http://tfl.nu/nygb
  Replies (33) Good night (4305) Bad night (1533)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.

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  (405): Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10% (405): And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar. http://tfl.nu/4y72
  Replies (10) Good night (2434) Bad night (795)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  (509): idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow. http://tfl.nu/e8dm
  Replies (7) Good night (2472) Bad night (818)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  That was an excessively violent trivia night

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  (604): That was an excessively violent trivia night http://tfl.nu/kztc
  Replies (4) Good night (1754) Bad night (642)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day

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  (904): Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day http://tfl.nu/vw4k
  Replies (6) Good night (1427) Bad night (919)
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  (897): View more from

  i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.

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  (897): i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight. http://tfl.nu/elh4
  Replies (8) Good night (860) Bad night (446)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth

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  (701): This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth http://tfl.nu/r917
  Replies (12) Good night (970) Bad night (701)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

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  (407): Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? http://tfl.nu/oobh
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (345)

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