I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit